Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Screw You Petrolheads!

It was the highlight of my day. I was good and ready for riding in the dark for the first time after a couple of months. On top of that I was eager to try out the new tarmac friendly tires I put on my mountain bike. After all I've been using it more for commuting instead of descending with eye-watering speed through tree-root infested trails. So I got geared up, checked my lights and I was out riding with a Julia Roberts smile. The wheels felt nice and quiet. Rolling resistance was down to a minimum. I was carelessly enjoying my ride, passed the airport - Larnaca's new pride and joy - and on to a junction where I would do a right, pass through a village and be on the road back home. I saw the car waiting at the red light. A dark coloured Nissan SUV. I passed it while it was at a standstill due to a red light. As I continue my ride I can hear the engine of the SUV revving in the distance. I was expecting to be taken over any second. What I wasn't expecting was that the driver - or the other retard in the car - would try to scare me with a loud 'boo!'. The Julia Roberts smile became Joe Pesci rage. I confidently left the handlebars in order to do the appropriate gestures with my hands, and free my lungs so the swears would be loud and clear. Then I thought screw them. The extent of the morons' stupidity was matchless. They apparently forgot that they had to stop 100m after where the incident took place to pick up their take away. So I was a bit surprised when I saw the car parked in front of the kebab house. Of course I took the opportunity to ride next to the car. Moron number one was in the car, waiting for moron number two to come with the kebabs. He refused to look at me or acknowledge my presence. Did he not see me? Can't be, my lights where blinking, both front and rear. I decided to make my presence even more apparent, and walked in front of the car, bend a bit and read the car's registration number. Moron number one was looking away still refusing to look at me. Do I make you feel uncomfortable? Are you ashamed? Good! I decided to leave as moron number two came out with the kebabs. Gave him an evil eye and a disapproving nod, and I was on my way. The sad thing is that both morons were in their forties. What retarded upbringing, or screwed-up marriage do you have to be in, in order to do such a thing? What were you thinking during that moment of genius, the moment of the inception of the masterplan? Oooooh look what I'm going to do to him! Well screw you and up yours. I hope you choke on your kebabs!

1 comment:

  1. Well as Einstein once said "Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity...and I'm not sure about the universe."
    Keep that always in mind.